Two, Please!

Setting Limits in Our Relationships

 The Bible has many examples of setting limits with others. To live effectively with others we need to respect each other’s space, time, and choices. We each stand alone before God and are accountable to please Him and live for His glory. He has formed us in His image, each with unique personalities and gifts to be used for His glory and purposes on this earth. We are to let God control us, not man. If we live to please man, we will never fulfill God’s call on our lives. Our actions toward others should be consistent with Scripture.

The Good Samaritan story in Luke 10:25–37 demonstrates the mercy shown to a complete stranger who was robbed and beaten and left on the roadside. The Samaritan sacrificed his time and money to take care of the stranger. But he did not forgo his responsibilities to take care of the business he had in another city. He left the hurt man at an inn and paid for his stay while he went to take care of his commitments and obligations elsewhere. He did not take the man home to live with him. He drew a line and had a limit to how much he would help him. We are to help others in the same way. We all have limited resources of time, money, and talent. We must use it wisely for God and not let expectations or pressure from others take us away from what God calls us to do.

When Jesus  had the crowds pressing in on Him, all wanting something from Him (healing, teaching, prayer, etc.), He left them to be alone (Matt. 15:39 and Mark 6:30–32) with His Father. He knew what God called Him to do, and He knew His time was short. He could not please every person asking for something from Him. Christ knew it was vital that He spend time alone with His Father in prayer. He did not forgo time with the Father because of the people’s need of Him. He had a limit. He knew what was most important, and He did not wear Himself out trying to appease and please man. Often other Christians will try to use guilt to pressure us into doing things that are good but not what God is calling us to do. We wear ourselves out in the process and become useless for the kingdom of God. We need to discern the will of God for us and pray that His will be done in our lives.

The Bible says, “Each one should carry his own load” and also that we should “Carry each other’s burdens” (Gal. 6:5, 2). There are times we let someone carry her own load, and other times we help her carry her load. We must discern God’s will for us in each situation. God individually holds us responsible for our attitudes, actions, and choices. We will each stand alone before Him to give an account for our lives in the light of God’s Word. To have healthy limits in our relationships with others, we must not allow ourselves to be manipulated or controlled by them.

Satan wants to put us on the sidelines of the Christian life God calls us to live. The flesh is also self-destructive and does not desire the things of God, so we can’t just blame the devil. As adults, what we allow to happen to us is our responsibility. The Bible says, “As much as possible be at peace with all men” (Rom. 12:18). We do our part to obey the Scripture and leave the rest to God. We must be controlled by the Holy Spirit. Our life is not our own; it belongs to Christ.

Jesus Christ and the apostle Paul were constantly setting limits and expectations with others. They would have never fulfilled God’s purpose for their lives if they did not. Christ kept His focus on being about His Father’s business, not allowing people or circumstances to distract Him. For example:

Christ did not . . .

1. Heal everyone, even though He had the power to do so.

2. Appeal to the crowds. He left the crowds to be alone with His disciples. When He spoke and many left Him, He asked His disciples if they would leave also.

3. Succumb to criticism. He did the Father’s will regardless of the critics.

4. Try to please others. He could have appeased Martha. After all, He was