What Did They Say?

Chapter 4 ANIMALS Animals were rarely a topic of discussion in my years in the classroom. Pets, quite often, were something we talked about, and as you will see they did generate many quotes. But animals of all varieties – even some that don’t exist – made for some of the most interesting utterances ever in my class. “I’m showing you a picture of my dead goat. It wasn’t dead when I took the picture, but it is now.” – Cassidy This definitely made the wall. Even now, I can’t read this quote without laughing. Cassidy was just so honest, so matter-of-fact about it, that it made the conversation adorable. She wanted to show me a photo of the goat – whose name I don’t recall – on her phone. The goat was black-and-white, and it was indeed alive when the photo was taken. “There was a dead fox on the side of the road, but it looked alive.” -- Emma Emma was part of a group of girls that liked to hang around a podium in the front of my room during any downtime at the end of class. Emma, who was a sweetheart, just wanted to be included in the conversation. They were talking about their bus rides to school, and Emma added her experience/observation. “Didn’t the Egyptians worship jackalopes?” – Juliet Juliet was one of the smartest, nicest kids I ever taught. She was also one of my best reporters on the school newspaper that year. She graduated from Boston College, but I’m pretty sure Juliet didn’t major in Egyptian history. This quote could’ve also fit into the “Time/History” chapter of this book, but it also works here. It’s also one of the quotes that made it to the board although it was said in another teacher’s room. Juliet actually said this right next door in Mrs. Hinkle’s room during world cultures class. The kids told me about it; Juliet owned up to it with a smile, and it went on the whiteboard. The quote also went on my wall the following year. Juliet’s quote also began one of my favorite pranks that I played on my students over the years. I had half of my classes believing jackalopes – antelope horns mounted on a rabbit’s head – were real. Other teachers even got into it. One gave me a pin picturing a jackalope, and I wore it during the aforementioned classes. I had even considered ordering one online and hanging it in my room, but I never went that far. Speaking of mythological creatures… “Isn’t a werewolf just a person?” – Jackson “Isn’t Bigfoot French or something?” – Luke These are priceless, from honors kids. “I don’t believe in dinosaurs because they can’t all die at once!” -- Cara Well, dinosaurs aren’t mythological, just extinct. Cara said this in Mrs. Hinkle’s world cultures class, and my students insisted it go on the board. Cara not only admitted it, she doubled down on her theory. CATS “Cats are the spawn of the devil.” – Josh Josh was a dog guy. “I don’t want to be the freakin’ cat.” – Izzy “He burned his cat.” – Summer “Why didn’t they just use a brick curtain?” – Mason “Anne put Peter in a ball.” – Nolind The play The Diary of Anne Frank by Frances Goodrich and Albert Hackett is a standard in eighth-grade curricula across the United States. To introduce the play, I would teach my students about the Holocaust for a few days, then spend a few more days on the Frank family. We read the play in class. Since there aren’t as many roles as there were students in a class, not everyone would have to read. I’d choose a different student each day to go to the front of my classroom and choose classmates for the roles. We always had more than enough volunteers. Everybody wanted to be Anne or the narrator. One additional – and extremely popular -- role I created to have more kids involved was that of Mouschi, Peter’s cat. Mouschi is mentioned several times in the play’s two acts and 10 scenes. All a student had to do is meow whenever a character mentions Mouschi or the word cat appears. But Izzy didn’t want to do that, which led to the first quote. History doesn’t really know exactly what happened to Mouschi, who went missing about a year into the two families’ 25-month self-concealment. That led to Summer’s quote, which while slightly inappropriate, had us all shaking our heads. The third quote came from when I explained to the class how during the day the Frank family had to use blackout curtains to keep people outside from seeing inside. In the final quote, I think that Nolind wanted to say that Anne put Peter in his place, but it didn’t come out that way. The third and fourth quotes don’t really have anything to do with animals, but it seemed appropriate to place most of the Anne Frank quotes in the same place. “If cats can climb, does that mean they’re like squirrels?” – Hayley “My cat deleted my homework.” -- Maisy Anne DOGS “I shed. I’m like a frickin’ sheepdog.” – Mya Mya was Maisy Anne’s older sister by two years. She had a very dry sense of humor, and although she wasn’t in my honors section, Mya was whip-smart. She will also be mentioned in later chapters – not this quote, but one of her other quotes actually made it to my wall the next year. “I think my dog ate my memory stick.” – Lauren “You can make dog food that’s not for dogs.” – Emily “Why do you have puppies on your hard drive?” – Madi “Is Goofy a dog? I thought he was a rat.” – Julia “My dog ate my socks!” – Aimee “What’s a prairie dog? I thought it was a hot dog with cheese.” – Mason This should absolutely be sold at fairs. “Why is the Penn State mascot a dog?” – Jamie